Life and death

Sighs received bad news from my mum's recent health checkup. She's diagnosed with a high probability of stuck arteries like my dad. In fact the doctor made it so serious that he insists my mum ask my dad to go down the next working day so as to talk to my dad so my dad can talk to my mum and convince her to do the op for the stent. I just hope that when she goes for the scan there's not too many stucked arteries. I fear that one day I'll suddenly become an orphan if both of them die from heart attack. Seems like a history of heart problems run in the family.

My grandma's youngest sister died from cardiac arrest in her sleep, she went to sleep one night and never woke up to see the next day. Sometimes I wonder if this is the best way to leave but then again she didn't have the opportunity to do what she wanted to do for the last time and say what she wanted to say for the last time. I wondered what kind of regret she held with her when she left. Like Steve Jobs said, after his close brush with death, he asks himself: If I were to die the next day, would I want to be doing what I'm doing today? And that became the guiding principle for all the things he does.

Then I wonder back to what the geomancer didn't tell me about what will happen to me after I turn 60. He says we'll talk about it as we get there. Sometimes I wish that I don't want to live too long and prolong the agony of being sick. Let's face it, if we are meant to die then why prolong our lives artificially just to live in misery and deplete our money on medical care only to end up in the same destination. We've all got to meet our Maker some day. So while we are alive, why shouldn't we make merry and lead a happy life? Do things that make ourselves happy and the people around us happy. The crazy man who wants to work till his death can go ahead and die at his work desk but not me.

Glee

Just watched episode 12 of Glee, I love what Mr Schu said: "The best teachers don't give you the answers. They just point the way and let you make your own choices, your own mistakes. That way, you get all the glory and you deserve it."

The scriptwriter is good! I wonder how many times in life do we really get to meet someone like that who truly inspires. Everyone needs some inspiration :)

No money no honey

July official marks the third month of bumming. Everything's great except for the diminishing bank account. From young, my parents have always instilled the good virtue of saving for a rainy day. So that's why I have them to thank that I'm able to bum around with no income now. I remember when I was little, my dad would bring us out and sometimes he'll give us money to pay for things and then tell us to keep the change and that's how I start amassing my wealth on top of the regular pocket money. I think it's also the Taurus in me that compels me to save as Taureans cannot stand financial insecurity. We live on beautiful things and in order to do that we need money or so that's what the horoscope says. I'm not sure I'm that into beautiful things but money I sure am. Actually these three months I've also been living with the nagging voice behind my head saying that: YOU NEED AN INCOME. Then again the procrastinator in me has only led me to apply for jobs that's countable by the fingers on one hand. I need to look for a job MORE ACTIVELY so I've promised myself that if I find a job by next month, I'm going to buy a ticket to Sydney and hang around there for a week with K.M. and she definitely have to bring me to that cook's heaven where I'm loading all that cooking stuff back!

Ideal life

I wish I lead an ideal life where love is not an issue;

I wish I lead an ideal life where money is not an issue;

I wish I lead an ideal life where health is not an issue;

I wish I lead an ideal life where happiness is not an issue.

But would we know the ideal life when it's staring at us in the face?

We were once young

After the boh liao day where we spent the afternoon looking at ex-students' photos, every time I login to FB I will start looking for more of these ex-students and silently stalk their FB page. Thankfully I changed my FB privacy settings, it's scary what you can find.

Last week's ultimate shock was: Short and lame boy from my second form class became the boyfriend of the sweetest and hardworking girl in class and they only got together recently! So now I know who's the one the girl has been holding a torch for but still... what an unusual choice!

Some other recent snippets: The boy from my first form class that gave me a photoframe has a girlfriend, the girl from Miss L's class that was actually a sweet girl gone bad but gone good again from her latest updates and blog but still don't like studying I see,the butch looking basketball girl looked more butch, the chor lor girl who plays both netball and basketball straightened her frilly hair, fat boy who used to be called up for skipping fitness club now looked sooooo thin.....

Some have girlfriends or boyfriends now, reading their love stories reminds me of the time when love was simple: You love me, I love you. No worrying about what colour of flowers for the wedding, balloting for house, having kids etc.

And how makeup can change the girls! The short scrawny boys has grown up. The fat ones have all slimmed down. The once slim ones have turned fat! All look so different now, I bet I can't recognize them if we pass each other down the road. Sometimes I do get the occassional student calling me on the streets and I don't remember who they are but it's scarier when I think about those who never call me and then secretly telling their friend, "Neh, that day I saw that Ms T that was teaching POA, wah she look so old and fat now!"

Those years in school was a trying time and age for them and those trying to teach them but the bottomline is these whom I checked up on all turned out fine in the end :)