The showdown

And the showdown took place. It wasn't as I intended to, which was to tell him that I despise his high-handed way of handling the situation which triggered the sudden decision to resign.

We were discussing work (as usual) and he decided to bring up the matter of my leave application again. In his pathetic attempt to ask me to change the dates of my leave, I coolly told him I may not need to take leave anymore as I've decided to resign with effect from today. My regret was not being able to capture the classic moment of his face as his eyes looked like they were going to pop and he could go into cardiac arrest any moment. The next thing he could muster himself to do was to ask me to go to a meeting room where the first thing he did was to give a resounding: WHY..........

In the meeting room he kept probing whether there was there any reasons besides my response of I'm tired and I need a break and there's no breakthrough in what I've been doing. I'm not giving him the satisfaction of the truth. He should know very well what the trigger was from how this whole resignation talk began. Then of course he asked is there anything that can be done to stop me from leaving, I told him no. Then he tried telling me I was doing well so why leave now and in my mind I was thinking of course it makes sense to leave on a high note to make an impact and leave people with good impression of me and not when I go berserk and at the low point of the job. The he mentioned that I have not even progresses to the career path we talked about my last year but truth is, he didn't do anything to attempt to help me move at all after last year's discussion because it was just one of those chores he needed to do as a manager, I'm sure in hoskins he just want to keep me there as long as he's there so someone can continue to clear shit for him.

So unable to pry the truth from me, he launched into his 10-years-in-IBM story of how he moved from a consultant to marketing because his manager helped him and sent him for course etc. I had the urge to ask him: are you that kind of manager? If he was, then why I was never sent for courses under his leadership, why didn't he make an attempt to find me a mentor from the field I want to move to? Not knowing people from that field is not an acceptable excuse. Then he went into how GREAT the company is (which I would have agreed if my impression wasn't spoilt under his GREAT leadership). To this statement, I replied that it's just another job.

Seeing that he wasn't able to convince me to stay (of course not, with such an insincere and pathetic attempt, who would have been convinced?), he turned to asking me whether I could stay on longer than my 1 month notice and I said NO. If there's one thing I've learnt in all my previous jobs, it is to say NO to extension because at the end of the day, no one will thank you for that goodwill and worse still abuse it. In his last attempt, he asked if I can don't take leave during the notice period. Given that I only have maybe one or two pathetic days of leave, I gave in to it. A quick look at my watch, it's already 6.40pm, no wonder he is in a hurry to leave and close the discussion.

And so that was the showdown